There was a point in my life where I wanted the perfect trophy wife. I think I was extremely patient because I didn’t wish to settle for less than my list of qualities that I created over the years. So when a girl would come around I would say well, she doesn’t have this or that. So I will put her rating at a 7. And when the next girl came along I would compare her to the 7 and see how many qualities she had. Ok, she was only a 6 on my list. This went on for years, comparing girls and trying to find that perfect woman. Thank God that He brought me out of that and showed me a treasured lesson.
Choosing a spouse should never be a competition between others. It should be following after the will of God. When you make things a competition and start to compare people, then you could be starting off on the wrong foot. Why? Because we should never compare people to each other, because everybody is different. I can compare anybody with somebody else and find good and bad in each of those people. When we apply that to a relationship, we start to see the bad in people and wish they were like somebody else. Or it becomes this idea of, they are never good enough, and there are bigger fish in the sea. Really what we are trying to do is create a perfect person that will suit our wants, when, in fact, there is nobody perfect because we all have different flaws.
So instead of taking others qualities and trying to build the perfect person or the best candidate, we need to be in prayer about the best helpmate. Somebody that will live life with you and push you to Jesus Christ. Also finding someone that you can serve in ministry with. Marriage isn’t about being selfish, but about glorifying the Lord together and spreading the gospel through your lives.
So if you are looking right now, have an idea of what you want and lay that before the Lord. But realize those things can change if God desires somebody else for you. But the whole idea of a successful marriage is getting the blessing of the Lord. When the focus in your relationship is on obedience and living for Jesus, then will you be able to give him Glory fully and live a blessed marriage.