As I sit here and go through old pictures of me as a child up until today, I look back at my life and see all the amazing times that I had.  All the blessings and the experiences that God has allowed me to be involved in has brought great awe to me through it all.

I was raised with a family that wasn’t perfect but we stuck together through the good and the bad.  A mom who was always there for me and loved me even when I was unlovable.  Who taught me how to treat a woman and gave me a sense chivalry.  A dad, who although we didn’t always see eye to eye, he made sure I underdstood how to respect people and treat them right.  Two Brothers who I looked up to and wanted to be like growing up, and a sister who taught me how to protect and treat women.

I have been blessed with great friends throughout the years who were an encouragement and push me to excel in everything I do.  A mentor who has shown me grace and loves the way Christ does.  Girlfriends who have taught me how to love in new ways while learning what marriage would be like.  And even an amazing dog who was there by my side throughout some of my toughest years.

I have traveled the world and seen some amazing places.  I have met people from what seems like every nation and learned how to honor people in thier own culture.  I have been part of creating amazing things from scratch and also supporting things that need help.  I have had more money than I knew how to spend, and also been in situations where I didn’t know where my next meal would come from or where I would stay.   I have been in settings where my life was on the line and also some of the safest places in the world.

I have met some of the most famous celebrities in the world and also sat with people who had been homeless for years.  There have been times where I have wanted to end my life because I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and times where I could smile and be thankful for all my blessings. There are times where God has blessed me with more than I could imagine and times where I was at the lowest point of my life because the desire of my heart wasn’t given. I have been financially rich but at the same time spiritually broke.  I have been surrounded by people but felt alone right in the middle of it all.  I have struggled through many things emotionally but also experienced heart whelming highs.  I have battled addiction and also have had victory through unimaginable times.  I have given up my life for others only to welcome a punch in the face from those who took me for granted.

I have also seen lives changed overnight, relationships reconciled, trust restored, brokeness put back together, and people leaving this earth excited about the next.  I have seen bitterness turned into love and unexplainable miracles happen.  I have experienced a dead heart which was full of lies and wickedness made new and have been given life; an abundant life that I don’t deserve, for all eternity.

Here is what I have learned, I am nothing special and human just like the next person.  I have my battles and struggles but my victories are stronger.  Not because of anything I do, but because of what Christ does through me.  My life was transformed 20 years ago when I surrendered it all to Jesus.  It hasn’t been an easy road, but I wouldn’t be here today if I didn’t have God.  Life is hard and many times I have wanted to give up, but God has always been there tugging at my heart and giving me the strength I need to go on.  He has filled my heart with a joy that surpasses all understanding and His grace moves me to share the love that He has to offer.  I know without a doubt that I will someday get to spend an eternity with Jesus, the love of my life.  I hope you too will have that same experience.  If you don’t, message me and I would love to talk to you about how amazing Jesus is!


forgiven • February 26, 2019

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