About a year ago I was talking with a friend who came from the states and had been a missionary for many years. We got to talking about relationships and he gave me some really good advice that hit me. He said “The person you choose to marry will either Double your life and ministry or they will cut it in half.”
Now at first it didn’t make sense because you would think that when two people come together, there are two bodies who can do twice as much. But that isn’t always the case! If you have somebody in the relationship that requires you to give up everything and make them happy all the time then your ministry and involvement is divided. What you were doing before becomes less because your time and efforts are being put into that person. If that person reciprocates and puts all the attention back into you, then your entire ministry becomes non existent.
So how does the multiplication of ministry work? When you marry somebody who is different than you with a skill set that God has given them, but also has the same vision in life, then you can each fill in the gaps and become more effective together. Your ministry will double because you are working together instead of pulling each other away from what God has called you to do.
To be effective in helping each other in ministry, there must be a full denial of self for the sake of Jesus. You must be willing to encourage and support each other to do what is best, even if that means making sacrifices. This applies not only to ministry involvement but your relationship. When two people are willing to be selfless and work together for the sake of the family, you will rise up and do what ever needs to be done.
So, what does all this mean? We have to learn that the only way that any relationship will work and be fruitful is by being selfless. It is never too late to start becoming more focused on helping each other out, encouraging each other to do the Lord’s will, and also supporting each other. Once you get this concept of “It is no longer about me, but about Us”, then you will learn to multiply your effectiveness in the relationship and in ministry.
Jesus gave us the ultimate example of this! He laid down his life fully out of love, so that we could flourish and have life! A marriage that looks like that will be blessed.