Is social media transforming how we do relationships?

It seems like we are being inundated with photos and videos of people who have perfect lives.  Every click seems like the most beautiful person who is drop dead gorgeous and extremely happy.  I see people with the perfect bodies who just work out all day long and don’t have to work regular jobs.  Aged people with flawless skin, great hair, and look like they should be in a magazine.   I see people who constantly travel the world to some of the most awesome places making me jealous that I am not on a plane with them.   All my friends have the perfect marriages filled with happiness and children who are poster perfect.  I see stunning couples who have the experiences I have always dreamed about, being in total love which each other, enjoying the best things in life together.  Romantic destinations, perfect dinner dates, and photos of them staring into each other’s eyes knowing that butterflies flutter in their stomachs when they are together.

This just puts me into a daze filled with the desire to experience everything I see on social media.  I want that perfect body, that perfect family, those perfect trips, and that perfect person to live my life with.  When all you see is good, it is easy to tell yourself that there is perfection out there.  Everybody else is experiencing it, so why isn’t it possible for me to have that same life?  Or is it just not my time?

We are creating a world that is extremely far off from reality through what we post on our social media.  I take a look at all my pictures, and I know the reality of those pictures.  Many times, I had to fight just to smile because I was going through such a low point in my life.  But in the picture, it looked as if my life was perfect and I was super happy.  I have taken pictures of people who asked me to capture the moment and 15 pictures later and them being filled with total frustration that I didn’t take it the way they wanted it, I realized that smile that they put on was only for the purpose of showing off to the world how great their life was.  The reality was, their life wasn’t what they portrayed on social media.  It wasn’t even close.

Has this idea of having to create a perfect life, changed the reality of our expectations? I find that many single people nowadays have distorted expectations of a false reality created from what they see online.  When they finally decide to date somebody, they are disappointed and quickly find out that the perfect person they sought out after missed the mark of their created fantasy.  The reality is, they will never find who they see on social media because even those people struggle through life in some way or another.  People only show the best of themselves and hide the struggles they go through, in order to portray a life that is desirable to the outside world.

I find more and more people not being able to commit in a relationship because when the unrealistic expectations are not met, they move on in search for that perfection.  Even within relationships and marriage, this is no different.  We push those unattainable expectations that we see in social media on our loved ones when they can never fulfill them, and this causes a lot of pressure for that person to do what is impossible.  This can be super devastating to the health of any relationship.

So what do we do?  The reality is, we need to live in reality and turn to the word of God on what is important in relationships.  We need to fill ourselves with godly expectations soaked in grace and understanding that we are all flawed and not seek worldly desires that are created to escape the here and now.  Give your heart to God and seek what He desires for you, not what your flesh wants and you will be extremely blessed!

forgiven • March 2, 2019

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