Years ago I was asked a very unique question about what I found beautiful in a woman. My answer consisted of a bunch of features that I liked and all based on appearance. I would also throw in the “she must also love Jesus”, just to hit some areas of character and not sound to shallow. But the truth of the matter is, her outward appearance played a huge roll in what I found attractive! I could give you a strong list of how she had to look, in order for me to even consider looking at her more than just a friend. Society had shaped my understanding of what a beautiful woman should look like and I wouldn’t settle for anything less.
It’s interesting how the older you get and the more life experience you acquire, the more your perspective begins to change. If somebody was going to ask me today what I found beautiful in a woman, my answer would be totally different. I still believe in attraction but that is just a small part of what makes up beauty. So you women out there that are solely focused on trying to look good on the outside, I want to encourage you to keep reading.
Growing up it was all about having a girlfriend who looked good. If you had the most beautiful girl in school than you were considered the popular guy. But things have changed and as I look forward in life, I begin to look at qualities for a great lasting marriage because the reality is your looks will fade and when your appearance goes, what will you have left?
Now, I know that we are all different and this is my list of things that I would look for, but I think this is a great list of things that will get you thinking about things that really matter. A relationship with Jesus Christ is everything and if she has that, most of these will either be strong within her already, or she will be willing to allow the Holy Spirit to transform her to become more like Christ.
This is not an exhaustive list, and I can come up with many more Characteristics but good start. She must be:
A true Born-again Spirit filled Christian – When a woman loves Jesus more than she loves man, God’s love flows out of her and the Fruits of the Spirit cause her attraction to be sought after. When she sits with the Lord daily and gets into the His word, she becomes just like Jesus in everything she does. That love is what connects two people and keeps two people together. It gives them the ability to outdo one another in love.
Selfless- To me, this has become one of the most attractive characteristics in a woman. You can tell a lot about a woman’s heart by how she interacts with others. When a woman is selfless you know that she is willing to set aside her self for what is best for others, and she will do the same for you.
Team Player – Not many people will step up and really do what needs to be done. But when you find a woman who isn’t afraid to play any position to help the team you know that she will do what it takes to help the family in marriage. Even if it means getting her hands dirty.
Supportive, encouraging, and speaks life – I hear this all the time. If it wasn’t for my wife I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this. Those are some attractive words because behind every great man, is an amazing support wife who will be there to encourage him when things are hard, and speak life back into him when the world has totally brought him down. I find it so beautiful when a woman sees all that a man can be in Christ and pushes Him to become better!
Teachable/ Learner – I love seeing when a woman is teachable and wants to learn and be good at everything she is involved in. She is a woman who will set pride aside and learn so that she can be more useful in a relationship. This goes a long way when it comes to working together and being more effective in getting things done.
Pure Heart/ Pure Mind – There is just something about a woman who is pure in heart and mind. A woman who doesn’t follow the patterns of this world by showing off her body for attention, but who dresses modestly because she knows who she is in Christ. Everything that she does is pure and without selfish motive. When a woman finds her worth in Christ, she won’t settle for anything other than what Jesus wants.
To me, and I am sure many others, Christian Men find woman extremely attractive by who they are in Christ. It is the Spirit inside her that draws the Spirit to her. There are many attractive girls out there, but if they don’t have anything other than that, attraction will only be as deep as your flesh and will never fully develop into true beauty!
I can write a book on this so to put it all into a small blog post is tough. Plus I realize that nobody is perfect and we are all a work in progress. You don’t have to agree with everything that I say here, and some of you married people might have a totally different perspective. My hope is to open a dialogue to be able to help each other out so we can start to understand the opposite sex. For you girls, many of us guys would love to hear what you desire when finding a husband. 🙂 So please let us know.